July 2012
17 posts
“Guarda L’alba” by Carmen Consoli
This is a song that Tiziano wrote together with Carmen for her greatest hits album Per niente stanca. Here you can listen to it and watch the video. Unfortunately I don’t know if the text is his; in his diaries he says he wrote it for Carmen, and in an interview Carmen said that Tiziano wrote it, but Carmen’s fans keep saying that he only wrote the music (an awesome feat in itself). If anyone knows for sure (maybe it’s in the liner notes), I’d really like to know!
This beautiful song awakens strong feelings of nostalgia and melancholy. I think its theme of rebirth and transformation fits very well with Tiziano’s state of mind at the time, as he was kind of living towards his coming out, opening up to all of his family and friends and typing up his diaries. So whether he wrote the words or not, I thought it was definitely worth translating, along with the diary entry where he talks about the song.
July 28th 2010
With life “in freezer” it’s difficult to surrender to intelligent thought, so I devote an afternoon to reading the second draft of the book and diving into my past mistakes, hoping that in the future I’ll be able to do things differently. And I don’t have any other options, while I improvise my entire existence, waiting for the stop at the next station.
I write it here and I don’t say it out loud: the book is beautiful, BEAUTIFUL. I don’t remember a moment in the recent past where I felt so happy. So I lie down on this surreal state of things, hoping it doesn’t end, like it’s a wonderful vacation.
Yesterday I finished the demo of a song that I’ve written for Carmen Consoli, it’s called Guarda l’alba. I’m really proud to be working with Carmen.
Right now I’d work on someone else’s record, rather than mine.
The temporary state of a singer on a leave of absence.English translation of “Guarda L’alba”:
“Watch The Sunrise”
it’s already Christmas, time flies
the approach of a moving train
on the windowpanes and lit chandeliers
in the rooms of the memories
I’ve put on a new face
on top of a formal dress
and I’ve buried the fearless wish to have you next to me
in the mirror there’s another woman
in her eyes there is no fear
how precious is your absence
on this happy anniversary
in the east the day is getting restless, it won’t be long now
watch the sunrise which teaches us to smile
it almost seems like it’s inviting us to be reborn
everything has a beginning, gets older, changes shape
love, everything transforms
with time, the mood of a dream is forgotten
it’s already Christmas, time flies
dinner’s ready everyone, don’t let it get cold
my father’s wearing a fake beard and a red hat
and life impetuously bursts through
in the urgency of a hopeful possibility
I already see the eyes of my son
and his toys around the house
in the east the day is getting restless
the night puts down its weapons and its darkness
watch the sunrise which teaches us to smile
it almost seems like it’s inviting us to be reborn
everything has a beginning, gets older, changes shape
love, everything transforms
you get accustomed to even the most terrible sorrow
everything has a beginning, gets older, changes shape
love, everything transforms
by closing its petals at sunset, a flower regenerates
“…Ma So Proteggerti” from the album L’amore È Una Cosa Semplice
Tiziano’s love songs have traditionally been full of drama and obstacles, so it was nice to find some purely romantic pieces on his latest album. This is one of them. And while his love songs have always been and remain gender neutral, I think “maybe one day even we will have a place, in this world that can’t surrender to love” is a touching referral to the ongoing global struggle for LGBT rights.
From the second book:
January 20th 2011
I dust off all the drawers and shelves of my brain and clean out the cobwebs, looking for the remnants of an idea for the song that I want to write. There’s still a lot to be said before I consider this album “written”. Letting your life turn completely upside down allows you to put aside the things that have always been important, even if only for a little while. But anyway, the songs and I know that we’ll again have something to say.
It’s also true that now, if I were able to push this song out of my head, I’d feel perfect.
January 21st 2011
It seems that the first month of this year doesn’t want to pass by.
It’s ok, in exchange I have written, the child has come into existence. This album is taking a very interesting turn, many ideas of blues, swing, R&B… nice. And I don’t intend to stop this flow of ideas that are so “rough” in sound.
Ah, the kid is called …Ma so proteggerti.English translation of “…Ma So Proteggerti”:
“…But I Can Protect You”
I’m thinking about those first seven days
always together, twenty-four hours
and a lot of time has been passing by
but I’m still taken away by your scent
and laugh… laugh, laugh, always laugh, my love
Sincerity is the mother of all vices
so I’m thinking of you
now that I hear you talk, from behind my wall and
what divides us now, will unite us in the future
And it will always look like Christmas
and love, I will take care of you inside the tear
that rained on my face the day you wrote:
I don’t have wings but… but I can protect you
from bad weather or, strangely enough, from the harmonies
because even happiness can be scary
but I can, I can protect you
We think we’re adults by some invention
We waste time screaming, without listening
and we hold back our tears as if it’s a competition
as if it’s a contest to hide them
But cry… cry, cry… cry even if you want to
The destiny that connects each world, one day it brought me to you
and by chance, I chased after you
and it was surreal
the love that you cried out, was so strong it ached
And it will always look like Christmas
and love, I will take care of you inside the tear
that rained on my face the day you wrote:
I don’t have wings but… but I can protect you
from bad weather or, strangely enough, from the harmonies
because even happiness can be scary
but I can, I can protect you
Maybe one day even we will have a place
in this world that can’t surrender to love
While going around, the world has your name
and to me it looks better
And it will always look like Christmas
and love, I will take care of you inside the tear
that rained on my face the day you wrote:
I don’t have wings but… but I can protect you
from bad weather or, strangely enough, from the harmonies
because even happiness can be scary
but I can, I can protect you
Strong rumors that there will be a DVD of tonight’s concert! Apparently a cameraman there revealed this eagerly anticipated news. Everyone else seems to believe it, so I will too.
Concert starts soon. Here you can listen to the radio station that airs the concert: http://www.rtl.it/FM (I had to turn off Adblock to make it work).
Tomorrow is the big day, all of the Olimpico will be filled to the brink to watch our hero perform. Here are some diary entries from when the Olimpico was nothing but a dream, and also from when he performed two dates there three years ago (for a section of it, not the whole thing), at the time still a troubled soul. These dates were also immortalized on DVD.
September 13th 2003
Take the car, in between all the professional obligations, take a shower, think carefully about how to dress so as not to look too much like a kid pop singer, sift through hotels to find one, send some texts, and go. Again on an airplane, packed with doubts and illusions, already demoralized, but curious. I’m sure that tomorrow I’ll have written another chapter of the story of “twenty-three and a half”.
Tiziano, don’t hurt yourself.
Rebecca texted me: “A year ago tomorrow there was the concert in Latina, the next one at the Olimpico, eh!!!” Sure, Rebecca, at the Olimpico… empty!!! Anyway, she was still able to move me.
Tomorrow I’ll see the Xverso video for the first time.
Today I’d even humiliate myself in exchange for a warm hand on my shoulder.
June 23rd 2009
The air thickens, the clouds huddle, the tension rises, the silence falls… entering the Olimpico for the first time! The avalanche of feelings that comes over me today is not at all expressable.
It’s the hour of the gladiators.
I don’t really understand why, since I came here, the overwhelming feeling is tenderness. It’s as if I awaited the moment of the debut in Rome under a dome of good thoughts. It’s love that dominates everything, and I can feel it near me. In this moment I could be left without anything and still feel like having everything.
I can’t say that I feel nervous, or that I’m afraid, yet there’s an electric shock that runs through my body, I am charged. I have many thoughts running through my head, and if they were not, in fact, thoughts, they would materialize in their magnitude to fill up every seat in the stadium. I remain seated, looking at the Eternal City from this terrace and I can’t help but tell myself just how beautiful Rome is. The most beautiful in the world.
Just as I entered, put my feet on the field, the Olimpico triggered a clear thought within me: I am fine here.
I am ready.
June 30th 2009
It’s been difficult to put myself back together after the two successful dates in Rome. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed anything like it. Forty thousand people in two days, there for me, and I was looking at all of those people that I had in front of me, feeling tiny.
I don’t remember what I was thinking when, popping up from the trap door on stage, I cast my first glance towards the crowd. While the mechanism slowly carried me to the surface I felt everything: confidence, illusion, doubt, fear, second thoughts, and then afterwards curiosity, joy, excitement and chaos. I certainly didn’t feel like I was able to control it, even if the air that we were breathing was full of good. The surreal thing is that, despite the situation being so unique and rare, I felt comfortable from the first minute. Like I was at a friend’s house, or like I was home.
There were moments when I wanted to ask everyone present what they’d do in my place if they had to face all the issues I’m dealing with. What would be the advice of each of them? Who’d stay next to me?
It’s this overcrowding of questions and thoughts that lead me here, at twenty-nine years of age, with so much in my head and nothing in my hands. The need to be, above all else, a human being, is now stronger than anything else and I don’t understand why I’m here thinking of this right now, facing life with so much insecurity in my heart.
Maybe because major events like the two concerts at the Olimpico do nothing but exacerbate my need to make peace with myself. Or maybe because all of the good shouldn’t be dissipated by the pain of living with what I carry inside, it’s not right.
At the stadium I spied on the people crammed at the ticket booths, breaking the lines to scatter to the seats and the parterre. I observed them and I observed myself: they were there, they were many, but I was alone. So I’d say that today I feel like the type: “Upon payment everyone wants me, but for free, no!”
In this article/interview published today they make it seem like Tiziano is still sick in bed, but his father confirmed today that he’s recovered and already preparing for the show in Rome tomorrow, so no worries. The concert will be streamed on Italian radio and we should be able to listen to it abroad.
The article also says that in August the album will finally be released in Spain, so I guess that long-awaited video with Malú will be coming out soon.
Then at the end he says that he has a few surprises in mind for when Christmas approaches, inspired by the experience of singing live. Very promising! He’s sending out a lot of mixed signals though, cause before he talked about taking a break. We’ll have to wait and see.
Time for another random diary translation!
March 2nd 2011
If there’s one thing I’ve understood, it’s that everyone is looking for something that lasts forever, but then as soon as we get close to it, we feel like we have to run away.
That’s what I thought today while looking at the arm of a girl at Monaco airport. She was there to work: a massage parlor right in the middle of the international departures terminal, allowing stressed travelers to enjoy fifteen minutes of relief before yet another connecting flight. A nice idea, I think.
I had time so I decided to take those fifteen minutes - a decision that proved to be excellent. On her right forearm, the girl had a kind of large dark pink scar that unraveled, indicating shades of azure, almost blue. Not symmetric enough to be the work of a scalpel, but too regular to be accidental. Looking closely I realized: it was a tattoo. Or rather, that what remained of an attempted removal of a tattoo.
And I was impressed. The girl had a tender expression, sweet, but this showed traces of a latent pain, unresolved, ongoing. Why do we insist on introducing things and names under our skin if we later need to remove them? And above all: why do we insist on removing them if we know that the marks are left behind anyway?
The truth is that the desire for the infinite is understandable and uncontrollable. The truth is that I also feel like a victim of this impulse-necessity, and this tattoo, dug out in the middle… maybe it’s crazy, but it comforted me. Because I like to meet other fundamentalists of love like me, people who go towards their destiny without fear of permanent damage, who give themselves up to the feeling with the idea that all it can do is make your life better. And I like to think that under that piece of skin there was the name of a great love, even if finite. Something you can abandon yourself in at least for a while, in the illusion of “forever”.
Never mind that that something, that someone, then cheats on you, abandons you, disappoints you, no. The aftermath doesn’t count, for us who aren’t content with anything that’s worth less than an emotional storm. Because even the most visible scar will always be less ugly than a missed opportunity. The opportunity to really feel loved.
And I go back to England, after four months.
“Scivoli Di Nuovo” from the album Alla Mia Età
The fifth and final single from this album, it’s one of the saddest songs that he’s written, and was released during the peak of his depression in late 2009. The song is not mentioned anywhere in either book, but the sentiment of it is very apparent in the first one and even a bit in the second. He decided not to sing the song on his latest tour, because it is “too sad”. I think it was the right decision given the energy of the whole show, but on the other hand this is one of my favorite songs of his, so that makes it bittersweet.
English translation of “Scivoli Di Nuovo”:
“You Slip Again”
Wounded, you count the things
That aren’t gone like you wanted
Constantly afraid, only of presenting yourself as worse
Than the person you know you are
You count, you specify, in order to remember
How many glances you’ve avoided
And how many words you haven’t uttered
To not risk disappointing anyone
At home, the entire day
The journey you’ve made to feel more confident
Better about yourself
But it’s not enough
It’s never enough
You slip again and again as if
You were a morning to be dressed and covered up
In order to not embarrass yourself you slip again and again
As if you were not expecting anything but to surprise the distracted faces
Too far away to comprehend your silence
There’s a world of intent behind the transparent eyes
That you close a little
Again you feel the edges of that lack of courage
And they instantly cast your eyes downward
And render your thoughts invisible
You go back to counting the days
Of which you know they can’t wait for you
You’ve closed too many doors and to be able to reopen them
You need to embrace what you no longer have
The house, the nice clothes, the party
And your withheld smile that erupted only afterwards
To not hate yourself as much
But it’s not enough
It’s never enough
You slip again and again as if
You were a morning to be dressed and covered up
In order to not embarrass yourself you slip again and again
As if you were not expecting anything but to surprise the distracted faces
Too far away to comprehend your silence
There’s a world of intent behind the transparent eyes
That you close a little
And you don’t want to make any mistakes
But you want to live, because those who don’t live
Leave a mark of the biggest mistake
You slip again and again as if
You were a morning to be dressed and covered up
In order to not embarrass yourself you slip again and again
As if you were not expecting anything but to surprise the distracted faces
Too far away to comprehend your silence
There’s a world of intent behind the transparent eyes
That you close a little
That I close a little
Speaking of illness, apparently Tiziano has a fever, but he still went through with tonight’s concert in Piazzola sul Brenta. Hope he’ll recover quickly, we need him in peak form for the spectacle in Rome!
Hello! I enjoy your blog so much! Thank you for sharing it! Do you have any info on if or when Tiziano will do a USA or Canada tour? I can't find any info anywhere.
Nope, after the summer concert dates it’s not really clear what his plans are. He did imply there might be some shows abroad, but nothing has been announced. All we know is that for this album there won’t be any more shows in Italy.
September 2009 was the last and only time that he performed in North America. This tour was a bit of a disaster. Not only was his depression at its worst at the time, but he (supposedly) got really sick and had to cancel the final concert in Montreal at the last minute. Naturally that pissed off many fans who had spent money on travel and hotel rooms. Especially cause there was no official apology and the date was never rescheduled.
So there are some bad memories there, both for Tiziano and the fans… would be nice if he could replace them with some good ones. But I don’t know if he can still attract a decent crowd in these places. I hope so.
Just got back from the concert in Brussels! It was awesome, even better than the first one I went to in Turin. The place was pretty much sold out. He tried to speak some French, which was cute, but it seemed pretty tough for him, so he mostly stuck to Italian. A surprising amount of Italians there!
He added Smeraldo to the setlist (after Troppo Buono, I think) and didn’t leave out a song for it. So I was very happy! Ero contentissimo!
In nine days is his biggest concert ever at the Olympic stadium in Rome. It has a capacity of nearly 80,000 and it’s close to being sold out. Needless to say it will be EPIC. He should record another live DVD there!
Here’s a Spanish interview with a Venezuelan website. Not going to do a proper translation as it’s more of the same old stuff, but one interesting tidbit is that “given time, and I’ll have plenty of it because after this album I’ll take a break, I’d like to study psychology, studying it is a passion of mine.” That’s nice and all Tiziano, but don’t forget about that sixth album that we’re already craving.
