“Il Bimbo Dentro” from the album Rosso Relativo
Such a beautiful song. I also love that it plays during the end credits of the Alla Mia Età concert DVD. Although I’d have preferred him actually singing it!
Here are translations of a diary entry where he mentions the song, and of the song itself.
August 15th 2002
Mid-August.
I’m on a Lufthansa plane that will take me from Cologne to Monaco, I’m really cold, wrapped in a useless blanket, bad mood.
The usual crappy meal that I could’ve also avoided… because it wouldn’t hurt to lose a few pounds.
Yesterday mom tried to keep me from leaving, a little with the excuse of the shoulder that I dislocated again two days ago (it seems I will have to be operated on), a little because of the floods that are crippling Europe these days. But no dice, the psychological blackmail failed.
I just hope that the days won’t be too devastating, even though while I write this I know well that I’m just desperately trying to exorcise the certainty that they will be.
Joy and suffering are in a constant battle within myself.
I’m grateful for the opportunity that was given to me, but sometimes I feel like dropping everything, immediately.
While singing Il bimbo dentro, I feel moved, mom and dad come to mind when they listened to my album for the first time, in the kitchen.
I had left them there alone because they were listening to the whole thing in order.
I came back downstairs only at the last notes of the final song, and they were there with tears in their eyes, looking at the photos of their child, images, and words that maybe they had already heard for years watching me grow up.
Every time I sing Il bimbo dentro, a dense shower of heavy drops falls down on me and I can’t control their vehemence.
I miss home.
English translation of “Il Bimbo Dentro”:
“The Child Within”
What happened to me?
With a rounder face, but never pale
Less sure of himself, but
Stronger at times due to the great humility
Of having slept on the desks at school
I never used to hold back the lumps in my throat
Because at times I was too tired to fight against them
But I always had time to think
And now no, now
I give you a blank stare and say
“You can’t get to me, you can’t get through to me
Now you don’t hurt me anymore, not anymore!”
I grit my teeth at all costs
And in order to not expose myself I pull back a little
And a little more
Moon, listen to me
If in that corner of the sky
You know more about it than I do
Now hold me tight
I don’t want to lose my way
But now I can no longer find him
The child within me
What happened to you, too?
What, are you tired by now of telling me
That I’m not there anymore?
You, who knows with sincere humility
The unfiltered version of me
Who protectively guards the “reasons”
Try to restore that absurd irony
That mad desire to go away
But to go home at the same time
But now I give you a blank stare and say
“You can’t get to me
You can’t get through to me!”
And you don’t even fight against it
You don’t argue and you give up
Help me, please
Moon, listen to me
If in that corner of the sky
You know more about it than I do
Cross the bridges between mind and heart
The extreme threshold of pain
The pride and its vast ocean
So I can make clear that I think about it
That I suffer from an intense love
That I still play with the wind
But I can no longer find the child within
That I still laugh senselessly
And I find my way, absent-minded yet alert
Naive but with my head on my shoulders
All or nothing, always or never
And that I’m here to find myself
And I’m asking for your help
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